Friday, August 23, 2013

Road Trip to Nowhere

A few days ago, I received a text message from my friend asking if I could give him a ride to a town about an hour and a half west of where we lived.  He is trying to move out of his ex-girlfriends house and needs a car in order to do so.  While searching online he found a car that the seller had agreed to to drop $300 off of if my friend drove out to pick it up.  Seeing as I try to help my true friends out in any way possible, I couldn't say no.  Plus, I thought it would be a bit of a fun adventure.

To begin our trip we needed to gas up and get snacks.  While doing so, we watched a woman try to turn right out of the gas station and hit the curb in the process.  Now while this happens all of the time and isn't really that funny, it was killing us because this woman was something else.  She started scaling the curb in her lifted and oversized Dodge Ram and then, once she realized that she was on the curb, she decided to back up and try again.  When trying for the second time, she hadn't corrected herself at all and just started going forward on the same path as before.  Then, after hitting the curb again, she backed up and tried again.  This time she seemed very proud of herself as she missed the curb, that is of course, until she mounted it with her rear tire.  At this point she seemed resigned to the fact that she was going to hit it no matter what and just kept driving.

From there we hit the road and kept ourselves entertained by eating chips and listening to Chris Hardwick interview Wil Wheaton on the Nerdist podcast.  Just a few minutes after leaving we had to stop with a small line of cars and wait for the construction crew to allow us to pass.  As soon as we were allowed through we were forced to go around a truck that was in our line of cars.  As we passed him we both looked over, wondering why the truck wasn't moving, and saw the driver with his head slumped to the side.  Knowing that we had not been stopped for very long, I immediately thought that the man had suffered a stroke or something and was about to jump out and check on him.  Relaxing a bit, I let the construction worker, who was already on path to the truck, check on it.  I watched the whole scene play out in my rearview as the worker knocked on the truck window and jumped back like he was scared of being shot or something and motioned towards us.  The truck then joined us in line again.  Must have been a VERY tired driver.

About a third of the way to our destination, I looked up and saw a butte on a hill a small distance from the road that looked like a giant nipple.  I wish I had gotten a pic because it was hilarious how much it resembled a nipple.  Of course, because we are guys and will always be 15 years old in our minds, my friend decided to pretend he was pinching it like The Kids In The Hall would 'scrunch' people's heads.

During our trip, I received a phone call from a co-worker who was curious about what she should do with a situation at work.  Just as I was getting ready to hang up, a chipmunk darted into the road in front of me.  Now this particular stretch of road is only a 35 m/h speed limit so avoiding the chipmunk would normally not be a problem, but my friend scared the crap out of me.  He threw his hands up as if to use The Force and propel the tiny animal out of the way of the car.  Just the sudden movement threw me off so I slammed on the brakes harder than I normally would have.  After our hearts slowed, we both laughed and I looked into the rearview to see the creature run off into the bushes at full speed.

When we finally reached our destination we were tired from laughing.  Before we knew what was going on, we looked up and realized that we had driven through the whole town in a matter of about a minute.  After doing a u-turn we went and parked in the small parking lot at the one grocery store in town and tried to figure out what to do next.  During our drive we had been told by the seller via text message that no one would be available to show us the car until 7pm...  We got to town at 5pm...  So we waited there, ate a small meal from the store, and chatted about whatever came to mind.

While waiting, I was a bit on edge.  This town was so small and remote that it made me think of one of those towns from horror movies.  Everyone that happened by would look at us like we were from another planet and I kept waiting for one of them to drag us off into the woods and butcher us for pig food.  To add to my discomfort, while we were in the grocery store, I saw a woman, dressed in the uniform of the store, walk to the employees only area at the back.  While this is not normally something that is out of the ordinary it was this time because she was walking back there with an infant in her arms.  Still nothing to worry about because maybe there was someone in the back that was going to help keep an eye on the child.  Problem in my mind was when she took a left turn out of sight towards the stores butcher area...

When 7pm finally made its way around we went and looked at the car.  I was not the best car by far, but if we could get it home and do a little work on it it would serve him well as he really only needs it to get to and from work.  Seen as it only had one headlight working and no dashboard lights I figure it would be best for me to lead the way home so that I could see any upcoming animals in the dark and keep us around the speed limit.

It was a mostly uneventful trip back until less than a quarter mile from where he lived.  Just as we were down the street form the house, he got pulled over for a missing headlight and for doing 27 m/h in a 25 zone.  The officer was really cool and gave him a warning but I am still shocked that we made it the full hour and a half with no other incidents.

It wasn't the most exciting trip, but we had a blast and he now has a car.

'Til next time.

Llama Llama

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